


The Recklessness Behind It

by CrimsonNi



Series: The Major and the Phoenix [1]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Apologies, BAMF Bella Swan, Bella Swan with a Backbone, Bipolar Disorder, Birthday Party, Blood, Blood and Injury, Break Up, Break Up Talk, F/M, Jasper Hale & Bella Swan Friendship, Mental Health Issues, Moving, No New Moon, Out of Character Bella Swan, Pre-New Moon, Twilight Series Rewrite, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25256056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonNi/pseuds/CrimsonNi
Summary: After Bella's 18th birthday party, the Cullen's (mostly Edward) feel they need to leave to preserve what's left of Bella's humanity. Edward has to break up with Bella, but she's not feeling it. She has much to say and much to reveal.
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Series: The Major and the Phoenix [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1829746
Comments: 13
Kudos: 147





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a big Twilight fan (although I admit this is a very flawed series) but I love it nonetheless. I do not own Twilight or any of its characters as they belong to one Stephanie Meyers. That said, Steph (can I call you Steph?) I do wish you expanded on Bella's and Jasper's friendship. But since you didn't, I took the liberty. So this was meant to be a one-shot that transformed into a two-shot with the 2nd chapter being SUPER dialogue-y. Beware! But enjoy! Please leave feedback and let me know what you think!

“Walk with me?”

Dread slithered down into the pit of her stomach and she didn’t have to have Alice’s abilities to be able to predict that what was about to happen was not going to end well. Still, refusing to follow him into the dark crevices of the woods was not a better option; she would just be running away from the “elephant”. Reluctantly, she trailed behind him, tripping on invisible roots and branches, but what was most surprising was Edward not waiting or assisting her as he usually would. It was reminiscent of their earlier days, when Edward was interested in a friendship with her but was battling with his inner demons (i.e. being a vampire) and instead would push and pull with her. For a moment, it was amusing to think about how they started. 

However, reality caught her attention when she nearly slammed her nose into Edward’s back. He had stopped walking but knowing about Bella’s clumsiness so well, he caught her with his hands around her shoulders. “Here is good.”

Tears burned the back of her eyes but Bella restrained them for the moment. She would allow herself to cry, but only after she got _her_ message across. She needed to have herself heard before Edward, as usual, would make the final decision.

“Bella,” he hesitated. He put distance between them so she could only get a good look at his posture and lower half of his face. “We...can’t do this anymore.”

Although her throat tightened into a painful knot, Bella forced her words through whatever space was left. “Do what?” She whispered out.

“We’re moving. We’re leaving.” 

“You’re breaking up with me?”

“Yes.”

And the finality of that word, the simplicity of that word, burned like fire through her body. She remembered James’ venom when it almost took over and she was sure, hearing Edward give up was a thousand times more painful. Not only that, but behind its quake, it left the residue of rage. Bella was angry. In the past, up until this point, she let Edward get away with dominating their relationship because she does trust him. She understands that his line of thinking, although tended to be expressed with dramatics, always came from a place of good intentions. Yet it was moments like these that burrowed doubt into Bella’s mind. All the times he proclaimed safety and love—suddenly it was worded as if this were a seasonal fling. Deep inside, Bella questioned if Edward was _really_ as truthful as he said he was. Maybe all the times the Cullen’s attended high school or college, Edward met a pretty plain girl and left her as high and dry as he was about to leave her?

“Fine,” she snarled.

Clearly not expecting that kind of response or reaction, Edward stepped forward in what appeared to be concern. Finally, Bella could see his eyes and they were dark with no luster to them. “Fine?”

Unable to keep the tears at bay any longer, Bella let them stream but pretended she felt nothing. “Yes, fine!” The tightness of her throat disappeared and was replaced with adrenaline. “You want to be a coward, then don’t let me stop you. Everything, _everything_ we’ve been through and one accident makes you want to throw in the towel!”

She got the reaction she wanted; his eyes blazed with fury, his mouth curled with retort. “One accident?! You could have died!”

“But I didn’t!”

“That’s the bar you’re setting?! You didn’t die this time so that makes this all okay?!”

Bella didn’t want her rage to speak for her because she wanted Edward to actually hear her, not react. After a deep breath, Bella tried to speak with a calmer tone. “It worries me how much you think I’m dumb—”

“You’re not dumb!”

Ignoring the fresh stream of tears, she continued. “But it feels that way. You’re always holding back and sugar-coating things for me and it’s partly my fault for not putting my foot down whenever it happened. Edward, you’re a vampire, I know this. And what Jasper did is not something to hate him for; it was an accident.”

Edward shook his head, almost as if he could deflect her words from his ears. “Bella,” he groaned as if speaking burned his tongue. “We’re not good for each other.”

It was Bella’s turn to shake her head. “You can’t even look me in the eyes when you say that. You’re lying. You love me.” Edward looked like—based on the softness of his eyes—he wanted to agree. “You’re afraid and I _get it_ , I know that this is terrifying. Trust me, I’m terrified too. But I love you and I think it’s worth the hardships to try whatever we can to be together.”

But again, Edward weakly shook his head. If a vampire could cry, Edward was sure to resemble her in the tears department. “I can’t damn you, Bella. Anyone but you.”

A horrendous sob escaped from Bella’s chest, paining Edward further. Desperately, he wanted to hold her and assure her that everything was going to be ok...except he couldn’t promise that. After a pregnant silence, Bella sought Edward’s eyes one more time. She looked tired but determined. This time when she spoke, her voice was soft, nearly airy. 

“I can’t stop you or your family from leaving, if that’s what you think is best. But I want to correct you on what you just said; you’d be damning me more for giving up on me, on us. You may think I’ll just one day forget you and find me a guy to love, marry, and father my children; you may think that you’re that replaceable. You’re very, very wrong. All I’d be doing is settling for the next best thing.”

A variety of emotions flickered through Edward’s eyes, yet they still landed on pain in the end. It reflected on Bella’s heart that she said her peace but Edward was still too rigid to give them a chance. What felt worse was that Bella was aware of how unforgiving Edward could be; she was sure he loved his brother as much as the rest of his family, but Edward knew how to hold a grudge. No matter how apologetic Jasper would be, Edward would project resentment that would forever haunt Jasper. If she couldn’t save _her_ relationship, the best thing she could do was leave the Cullen family better off then how she entered it. 

“Could I ask for one last favor?”

Assuming she wanted to try one last attempt to change his mind, Edward was ready to refuse, but Bella, once again, surprised him with her clarity and determination. 

“Could you drive me to where Jasper is?”

“What? Absolutely not!”

The determination turned to ire. “What do you mean ‘Absolutely not’?”

If Edward’s cheeks could flush with anger, he’d be a carbon copy of a tomato. “Bella, he almost killed you and even so, now isn’t the right time.”

“Don’t!” She snapped sharply. “Don’t say things like that. Don’t speak about him as if he reacted like that intentionally. You can read his mind, you know him and you know that no matter what, he would never purposely hurt me.”

“I still cannot agree to this.”

Bella scoffed. “You can’t have it both ways, Edward. You can’t break up with me and still expect me to follow your rules. I love you, but this has nothing to do with you. Although the whole family and you were there, this is between me and Jasper. Now either you can help me or I can work against you.”

Stunned, Edward searched her face for a bluff, a weakness he could reluctantly exploit, but none existed. Because he couldn’t read her mind, he couldn’t tell what strategies Bella had considered and worse yet, he couldn’t ask Alice since currently, she was peeved with him. If Alice had a choice between helping him or Bella, she would most likely choose Bella. All he could respond with was a silent reach into his pocket, where his cell phone laid dormant, and speed-dialed for Alice.

_“He’s ready when you guys are.”_


	2. The Omitted Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is A LOT of dialogue in this chapter! Beware.

The worst thing about being an empath was sometimes forgetting how to discern your feelings from others. A thick fog of misery hung in the air of the Cullen home, all at different spots on the spectrum. The “happiest” person, if it could be categorized as such, was Rosalie, but that was pushing it. She was glad Bella was out of the picture, but mellow at the same time seeing as Emmett was quiet—a supreme rarity. He moped around losing his usual gracefulness and even his legendary libido. Silver lining, Jasper was a little grateful for that. Meanwhile, Carlisle, although the most mature, was resigned. The energy around him felt melancholy, as if he learned that a long time friend passed away. Esme felt much the same, although a twinge stronger; her maternal persona loved mothering and Bella was the perfect subject for just that. Already, she missed Bella dearly, wishing she could cradle her in her arms. If Edward was close by, no doubt he’d be expelling grief so debilitating, it would be as if Bella really did die, but surprisingly, Alice was a close second with her emotions.

Jasper knew Alice loved Bella, from the moment she saw her in her vision, but he must have been distracted for him not to notice the depth of that love. Of course, Alice was a loyal and loving mate and regardless of Jasper’s mistakes, she was by his side, supporting him in his time of need. Feeling everyone’s emotions clouded Jasper on how he really felt. Yes, Jasper felt horrible for his actions and what happened but he couldn’t help but feel confused. On the one hand, he resonated with Rosalie’s feelings since he agreed her in the beginning that Edward pursuing a relationship with a human  _ child _ was a really bad idea. First off, she was human. Second off, she has blood under her flesh that smelled ridiculously mouthwatering. Third off, vampires don’t make it a habit of intermingling with humans. So overall, he was disappointed that one of the smartest members of the Cullen coven made such a stupid decision. 

Jasper hadn’t changed his mind when he finally got to meet Bella; she was too disorganized for his liking; no self-preservation. Using her own smarts combined with the bread crumbs Edward left, she figured out what they were...and yet nothing dismayed her. In fact, it was as if learning the secret opened up Bella’s heart, exuding a happiness Jasper has only felt with Alice in their most intimate of moments. One of the best things about being an empath was being intoxicated on positive emotions and Bella had an endless well of it, especially when Edward was around. Yet the emotions didn’t waver when she was being teased by Emmett or dolled up by Alice or spoiled by Esme. He wasn’t sure when, but at some point, Jasper began leaving behind Rosalie’s logic and joining in with the rest of them in accepting Bella into their world.

Even after the fiasco with James, Jasper felt a kinship brewing between himself and Bella. The time, although short, spending with Bella in the hotel room established an insight that made him want to learn more. Moreso, this growing friendship with Bella and the resulting sisterhood with Alice, started giving Jasper confidence that he could do  _ this _ . He could finally fit himself in with the rest of the Cullen’s and let the sins of his past molt off him.

Then her birthday party happened. He takes full responsibility yet it bothers him how easily he was influenced that night. Jasper has decades of experience in monitoring the emotions of newborns, crazed with bloodlust, but a house full of experienced vampires threw him for a loop? Maybe he was getting too comfortable. Maybe Rosalie was right and Bella was only trouble...yet thinking that didn’t sit right with him. Bella wasn’t perfect and she  _ does _ appear to be strangely intimate with danger, but she was one of the best people he has had the pleasure of meeting. And now he’s permanently ruined everything. With the Cullen’s, with Edward, with Bella, perhaps even with Alice. Just as he was contemplating leaving the coven, Alice burst into their room and surprised him with a sudden heated kiss.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like it, but dare he say he wasn’t in the mood? “Darlin’?” He muttered against her lips.

Alice separated from him with a wide smile and a burst of joy to accompany it. “Just be patient, alright?”

He wanted to question further but Alice’s cell phone vibrated and she answered it with a sure smile. “He’s ready when you guys are.”

“Alice, what’s going on?”

“Jasper, I only ask that you give her a chance, ok? Trust me.” She gave him a final kiss on the lips and raced out of the room like a tornado. In normal circumstances, Jasper would investigate but every time Alice said to trust her, she pulled through with an amazing outcome. So it wasn’t logical for him to do anything differently this time.

Mentally, Jasper counted to 5 minutes before a familiar aura jolted under his skin and a scent he’d recognize anywhere wafted under his nose.  _ Why is she here?! _ In a matter of seconds, Bella was in his room with a furious Edward and an excited Alice trailing behind. He stood frozen, unsure what was going to happen, but Alice must have had a vision and he was going to trust it. “Bella—”

“Hi Jasper, can we talk? I won’t take much of your time.” 

Jasper looked to Edward, who was exuding a violent aura that was cut abruptly by a quick slap from Bella’s hand against his chest. She asked him and Alice to give them a moment and for Edward to quit it. It was astonishing to see Edward morph into a scolded child and slink out of his room with Alice winking at the two of them. The moment the door closed behind her, an awkward silence controlled the room. Despite her bravado before, standing by the exit of his room now was a small, timid girl. She wrung the fingers of her right hand tightly in the fist of her left, staring down at the floor with a rapid heart beat thumping away.

Unnecessarily, Jasper cleared his throat. “Would you like to sit down?”

She seemed relieved (and felt it) at the invitation. As Jasper sat at the edge of the bed, Bella took it upon herself to sit in the corner where a thick armchair sat. Again, Bella remained quiet, but instead of nervousness, Jasper sensed anticipation, as if she were building up the right words before speaking. If that were the case, he’d give her a moment. She only needed a few seconds before grounding herself and looking for his eyes.

“I want to apologize!” She blurted out. 

“Bella—”

“I  _ need _ to apologize.”

But Jasper shook his head, bouncing his curls in the process. “No, Bella, an apology isn’t needed. You wouldn’t apologize if that was an ordinary birthday party where you’re around other humans.”

Bella mimicked Jasper’s gesture in shaking her own head. “I’m not apologizing for the papercut; I’m apologizing for the recklessness behind it.”

“Hastily opening a gift is a tad impatient but reckless? Again Bella, if you were celebrating with your family, you wouldn’t be apologizing for neither a papercut nor your hastiness.”

The toughness of Bella’s eyes melted into two wet pools. “I  _ was _ celebrating with my family,” she whimpered. Jasper wanted to silence the misery leaking from Bella but she already moved on. “No, no, I’m not apologizing for my impatience either. Look, I think...I should probably back up a bit and explain—no clarify—something. The truth.”

“What are you talking about?”

His naturally predatory eyes watched with close intensity as she slowly moved from the armchair to the side of the bed where he sat; for all her physical awkwardness, she moved with the grace of a vampire from one spot to the other. Perhaps the vampire life was rubbing off on Bella. She moved meticulously, as if she wanted Jasper to be aware of her every movement, as if she were in a cage with a tiger. It wasn’t long before her warmth gently tickled his side and together they sat parallel facing the window of the room. They sat as a straightened Yin-Yang symbol. 

Finally, Bella exhaled slowly, releasing a relaxed aura before speaking. “This may be a bit winded, but bear with me. If I’m boring you or rambling, tell me; I just want to explain myself.”

“Of course, Bella,” Jasper replied softly, under his breath. Although he didn’t believe she could actually bore him.

“Back when Edward and I were just getting to know each other, small talk, you know? He asked me what prompted me to move from Phoenix to Forks. I remember saying something along the lines about Renee and Phil being newlyweds, me wanting to give them space, Phil’s job requiring him to travel, etcetera. That wasn’t a lie or anything, but I did omit a big part of the truth. Looking back at it now, I’m not sure what held me back since I trust Edward, but I think there’s a part of me that still feels...embarrassed or ashamed?”

Jasper could confirm. “What is it, Bella?” He gently pressed.

A soft current of pink danced on her pale cheeks but Bella held firm. “The truth is, Phil asked me to leave…”

Shock sparked throughout the house—as every vampire could hear the conversation—and totally not what he was expecting. “W-What…?”

“Oh my God, wait, I didn’t mean it like that!” Bella groaned out. “I meant, what I mean is, Phil and I made a deal of sorts. Renee is...has bipolar disorder. So high-highs and low-lows. She didn’t get an official diagnosis until I was about four?” Bella paused, waiting to see if Jasper would interject or react. When nothing was said, she moved forward. “Growing up was...unpredictable; I don’t say this to speak ill of Renee—she was a fantastic mom—but the trial and error of the different cocktails made things challenging. Whenever we found the right combination, Renee was on the ball; she could cook, clean, laugh, dance—she was invincible. But it never lasted. Sometimes the cocktails wore out their abilities or other times Renee made the choice to stop taking them.”

“Because it was too up and down, I ended up taking the reigns; making sure all the bills and taxes were accounted for, keeping track of her doctor appointments, keeping the fridge stocked; you name it, I had it on a schedule. And the truth is, I liked it. I liked being needed and useful. I never considered what I went through as a robbery of my childhood, at least not until Phil came into the picture. At first, I thought he was a short-term fling; it would have been nothing new since Renee  _ loved _ men, especially younger men. Her manic episodes involved many times catching her with a new piece of arm candy. But Phil was different. When he learned about me, he went out his way to take me out to get to know me. When he witnessed Renee’s disorganization, all he did was step in and help keep things in order. So I was sure he was going to run out the door when he learned about her mental illness. He didn’t. He came to me and asked me questions, researched the name and side effects of each medication and actually got her regimented. For 10-11 years, I tried every trick in the book to get Renee to stay on her meds, but Phil busted in like a wizard.”

“I wish I could hate him; thanks to him, I thought I no longer needed and had the worst breakdown in my life. It happened because Renee forgot to pay a bill—nothing new—but  _ I _ forgot that  _ she _ forgot to pay a bill, which never happened before. I could barely get out of bed for how devastated it left me. That was when Phil and I had a sit-down; he suggested for me to entrust him with Renee, if only temporarily. He said,  _ ‘I think you could use a vacation. You should go on and be a teenager, be reckless.’ _ We agreed that if I came here to live with Charlie, I could “relax” for four years, move back to Phoenix for college and be by Renee’s side again. He thought, I shouldn’t use the entirety of my youth taking care of Renee—actually Phil is starting to sound a lot like Edward.”

Jasper—along with Emmett, Carlisle, and Alice—laughed. Edward felt very amused yet concerned.

“It took some convincing, but I agreed with him that it’d be a good idea. Renee and Phil can be together and travel, and I could spend time with Charlie.” She smiled, showing a row of straight teeth. “But then I met Edward. This small, boring town of Forks felt fun and exciting all of a sudden. I know this sounds weird, but getting to know all of you, even after learning about the big secret, grounded me. I feel...so normal around all of you. I think that’s also where I messed up. From day one, Edward warned me about the dangers of being around him and the rest of you guys, but then he’d follow it up with how much he’d never hurt me. I kept thinking, if Edward hasn’t killed me by now, I don’t see him ever slipping up to do so in the future. Clearly Renee’s part of my DNA has been activated because although I still have confidence in all of you not binging on the town, I should never have taken for granted all of the hard work and effort you guys put into being vegetarians. It’s for that that I’m truly sorry for. I under-valued all of you and acted like a brat. That birthday party, I should have known better.”

Jasper felt at a loss for words. Even his mind was blank on what to say. He wondered if Edward was aware about all of this information, but a soft  _ No _ from the other room quickly answered that thought. Seeing that her left palm was facing up on her thigh, it felt natural to curl his cool hand into hers. A large part of Jasper expected Bella to pull away in shock and perhaps even disgust, but her hand cradled his with love as similar to Esme whenever she hugged him. That was what poured out of Bella’s soul; love for him, for them. 

He could smell a faint wisp of salt and taking a glance at her face, he saw the tears saturating her skin. “Jasper,” she choked out. “I am so sorry for what it had to take to open my eyes.”

“Forgiven and forgotten,” he vowed. And he meant it. He wanted to argue that there was nothing to forgive (as he still felt the party was his fault) but he understood what she meant. 

Clearing her throat from the wave of grief that overtook her, she collected herself once again. “Edward tells me you guys are leaving…”

_ That _ was a surprise but not unexpected. Perhaps just a little sooner than he thought. Of course the near murder of Bella would naturally result in them having to move and leave. He couldn’t refute that. Pain erupted in his chest at the thought of leaving Bella behind. If they had to, he would oblige—it was the least he could do—but he truthfully didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want to leave this inspiring little friend he’s made. A squeeze from her hand brought him back to the present.

“I know vampires’ have perfect recall, so I don’t want you guys leaving with that party as your last impression of me. This might be a lot to ask, and you are more than welcome to say no...but would you like to come to my birthday party? For a redo?”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Like a blood thirsty vampire,” she joked. “Alice is going to wrap the presents in plastic and I’m going to wear gloves. Alice is most likely going to outfit me in a hazmat suit and just in case, I’ll be dousing my neck in some nasty stuff to keep you guys hesitant. So what do you say? Please?”

Her smile was infectious. He couldn’t believe he was actually considering this, but Bella sold it well. Alice was excellent in finding alternative solutions and most likely, a redo of the party was going to come out better than the original. And if the family was going to uproot itself, maybe it’d be best to go out with a bang, with the best memories they could make, surrounded by the high of happiness. She didn’t need to say anymore for him to agree. 

“I’ll be there.”


	3. Infinite Giggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Jasper and Bella's Heart to Heart

Bella wasn’t sure what to call it, but she felt what she’d assume intoxicated people would consider ‘slap-happy’ or drunk. She felt light, nearly dizzy, but not nauseous. She wanted to laugh hysterically, just to see if she could shimmer the vibrating excitement out of her system. 

“What  _ is _ this?” She gasped.

“That, my dear friend, is called happiness.”

It took some effort--due to her body no longer feeling connected to her mind--but she managed to turn her head towards the source. There she found Jasper, standing by her side where her feet ended, with a smug look. His hands were in his pocket, yet she imagined he had to have been waving them about to cast such a powerful spell. Although the party was long over, Bella didn’t want to return home; she was so excited that the Cullen’s changed their mind (particularly Edward) and decided to stay, to remain with her as her secondary family. As predicted, the party went off without a hitch, mostly since all precautions were followed to a ‘T’. Regardless, it was perfect. And as a final surprise, Jasper waited until Bella was full, sated, and content to sneak up and dose her with a heavy swing of  _ whatever this was _ . 

She hadn’t expected it and when she collapsed, she assumed the worst, believing she was experiencing a heart-attack. Edward caught her and gently laid her on the floor of the living room but she wondered why he wasn’t panicking. His unusual behavior sparked more paranoia than if he had freaked out. Thankfully the two of them immediately explained what was going on and she learned that Jasper was saturating her in what he always felt when she was happy around him. 

“No way!” She exclaimed in disbelief. The emotions being poured onto her felt intense, all encompassing. There was no way she was exuding so much; Jasper had to have added volume for dramatic effect. “I don’t walk around all the time like this!”

“Not all the time, but a good chunk. You are a happy person, Bella Swan. Yes, you  _ do _ feel like this most of the time.”

“Impossible,” she said with laughter dancing along. Once it started, she couldn’t hold back, and child-like giggles began erupting. “It feels delicious.”

Edward, who she guilty forgotten was by her side, erupted into loud, boisterous laughs. To her recollection, she never heard him laugh so heartily. “Do you see our dilemma, love? To have a little human enter our lives but not only smell delicious--”

“But feel like it as well,” Jasper added.

Words wanted to form and structure out of her mouth, but she was too giggly to try and speak them. Instead, she settled for basking in the feeling. This was the best birthday gift anyone had ever given her! Not that she’d ever say; she didn’t want Alice attempting to find a way to one-up them.


End file.
